Friday, March 23, 2007

so, its been the first week of sch from the other side of the classroom...

honestly, i was damn nervous on monday, even tho ive taken most of my classes for about half a term in term 1, i was still nervous..hahah which explains y i wore make up the 1st day...okie this sounds damn bimbo...but oh well its true...haha the mask of insecurites..

over the week, i met my new class 4N2..all i can say is that i just pray to God tt i dun screw their english up too badly such tt they severly underperform for their N levels cos there aint much time...oh well...we shall just see how it goes...

i enjoyed the after sch part of this week ALOT...on monday i tutored James..sigh..sometimes you need soo much patience to teach tt boy that i feel i aint doing him any justice..but acc to his mum, its helpin him generally...ahhh well once again we shall jus see how it goes...the arrangement was to tutor him EVERYDAY...i understand where the mum is coming from...but its DAMN tirin...n when im tired ill be flustered which doesn do well wif patience...

i told myself i needed some enjoyment..=P like selfish entertainment...which i dunno i did feel bad for blowin such a kid off aft i gave my word...but ah heck..i still can afford to be superficial n have some entertainment..=P so yes..it was a fruitful week socially cos i met up wif frens i haven seen in AGES...n tho i think zouk on wed night made me a walkin living zombie on thurs n fri...i had a nice time in such a looonnnnggg time..=P actually not tt long...jus feels tt way..but it was gd...=DD n yea thurs i slept the aft but met vernie at the esplande for dinner...n we had a nice looonngg talk...haha guys are jus sooo weird sometimes..actually its the whole idea of relationships...they jus get messy n complicated cos ppl place too many expectations...like i expect u to call or go out n yet u didn so u end up feelin dissappointed...a gd alternative is to have no expectations at all...but tt SOOO borders on being disillusioned which aint gd either...hahah so in short such things are jus weird n im jinxed...=( like i was tellin vernie...hahah

actually she's a gd person to tok to cos we understand where we are coming from n she gave me an insight on how FREE n GDD a TEACHER-LESS n stress free life is...but i dunno...there is jus sth holding me back...like stoppin me from quittin to teach..it aint all abt the money...there is just this strong urge preventing me from doing it...call it intuition or wadeva else...its jus hard to explain and neglect...so tts y im still there i guess despite wakin up at the unholy hour of 515 everyday!..im sooo NOT a mornin person...well its a learning experience i suppose...

but yea ive been grateful for how this week outside sch has gone soo far...=)) i had such a gd time meetin up wif diff frens everyday...tt even tho im DEAD tired now...id do it all over again..=)

jus a gentle reminder to myself..:note to self: reallly place NOOOO expectation wadsoeva n sooo do NOT get ya hopes up cos they are prob gonna get crushed as always..heh..

anyway, my eyes are half closin right now...so im off to slumberland...where hopefully i get to create everythin...=) yay! okie tt was sooo random...hahha


Posted by shellsofsilence at 11:50 PM